Sitting With Discomfort – Why You Aren’t Seeing Results You Want

Sitting with discomfort can be hard

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Discomfort is a common human experience and is often part of our day-to-day lives. It is especially prevalent when we have a goal in mind and the process of achievement is not the most pleasant.

The feeling of discomfort can come in many forms but is often one of negative or anxious sentiments. From a biological perspective, it is our body’s way of letting us know something isn’t right. It gets us to act in a way that will get us back to a state of comfort.

Often, discomfort can be self-inflicted. I won’t get into the physical sense. But from a mental and emotional perspective, we are capable of causing our discomfort when something doesn’t go the way we perceived it to go.

In this post, I am going to address how discomfort is a very common feeling that people experience when going through a self-development journey, such as weight loss, reverse dieting, etc. I will further go into helping you understand why you are feeling uncomfortable and ways to not only improve that feeling but embrace it so you can get the results you want.

Before you read on, don’t forget to save this post to read again later!

How to work through the difficult feelings and emotions of your health and wellness journey

What is discomfort?

As I mentioned in the introduction, discomfort can take on many forms both physically and mentally. In the spirit of this post, we are talking about the mental and emotional side of discomfort.

For most people, discomfort is a feeling when you are not in your normal or baseline state. Many have a routine and lifestyle that they are comfortable with. When taken out of that state of comfort, they can be left feeling anxious, nervous, scared, angry, etc.

That is discomfort at a very high level.

Likewise, everyone had a different level of what they perceived as discomfort. It is a feeling as unique as the individual themselves.

How to recognize discomfort?

Because everyone has a different perception of discomfort, there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to recognizing discomfort. But here are common general feelings:

  • anxious or on edge
  • nervous
  • scared
  • angry
  • frustrated
  • unhappy
  • depressed

These are all feelings that are the opposite of comfort. The list could go on and some people even have physical side effects to mental discomfort such as loss of appetite, loss of sleep, etc.

Why do people feel this way?

For a multitude of reasons, anyone can feel uncomfortable. But let’s put it in the context of the goal of this post. That is, discomfort when you don’t see the results you want.

I have certainly felt this and I would be shocked if a single adult human being has never felt this.

It is something we experience as young children. You can see a two-year-old scream because he or she didn’t get the thing they wanted.

It is a completely normal feeling for humans young and old. I would just hope as an adult you wouldn’t scream. But hey, to each their own!

To get even more narrow, let’s look at this from a health and wellness perspective.

Maybe you are trying to lose a few extra lbs of fat or you are trying to build your overall strength. No matter what your goal is your journey will take time and have its ups and downs.

With life experience, most people know that goals like that don’t happen overnight. The problem is we have had decades of marketing and now social media make false claims that results should be instant.

So even though most of us know better, we still fall into that trap of seeing Becky’s before and after photo where she dropped 30 lbs of baby fat in 4 weeks.

It sets up unrealistic expectations for rapid linear progression to get the results we want. And when we don’t get them we feel that discomfort in our own skin. This leads people to take on radical unsustainable mechanisms to get the results they want. Or they throw in the towel altogether.

In sum, we are taught not to sit with that emotional discomfort which can feel like riding a slow boat to the end of the earth. Instead, we have been conditioned to have a knee-jerk reaction and punish ourselves. You can thank diet culture for aiding in this toxic social mentality.

Why you should embrace discomfort

I get it. I have many times been on health and fitness journeys where I got uncomfortable so quickly pivoted because I must have been doing something wrong.

But I’m telling you from my own personal experience and the encouragement from my community of women (and men) that discomfort can be a critical feeling to recognize and embrace when going through your journey.

Sometimes we find the most comfort in discomfort. Here is my example that has nothing to do with weight loss, diet, fitness etc. I will tie it back into this topic in a moment.

When I was a Junior in college…

I did a study abroad in Vienna, Austria. I chose a European-led program to make as many non-American friends as I could because I knew most study abroad programs were American Univeristy run.

With that in mind, I also went to a country that’s first language is German. That of which I knew little to none before going. Also, I had never been to Europe or traveled internationally on my own.

So here I am 20 years old coming from a fairly safe and sheltered life up to this point. I was terrified. In some ways, I was too proud to tell my family but gosh I was so anxious and truly wanted to back out. But I didn’t.

I got on the plane and flew to this unknown land. The first night there I cried in my home for the next 5 months not knowing anyone. It was truly the most discomfort I had felt up to that point.

However, the next day I had orientation and almost instantly made new friends. Fast forward to the weeks leading up to my departure to fly back home and I did not want to leave. I had the most amazing time of my life up to this point (and honestly still to this day).

The moral of the story here is that I learned to embrace my discomfort. Likewise, I was able to take that and not only become comfortable but thrive.

So take it from me, discomfort can often be the beginning of an exciting and new chapter of your life.

The Stubbed-Toe Analogy

When working with my amazing coach Sarah while on my own journey, she used a lot of great analogies to help me along the way. So much so that I started to come up with my own. My favorite is the stubbed-toe analogy.

I remember as a kid I would run around our neighborhood barefoot. Not always the smartest but kids will do what kids will do.

This one time I went over to the neighbor’s house. As soon as I got to their rocky driveway I stubbed my toe on a stone and oof it hurt. So I hobbled home to attend to it then ran back out only to stubb the other one the exact same way.

I learned two lessons that day. One, you can prevent yourself from discomfort by having the right tools in place, i.e. a shoe. And two, if you can’t prevent it, whimper a bit, and as the throbbing subsides move on.

This can be applied to your health and wellness journey.

There are things you can do to set yourself up for success and prevent discomfort. Think, about hiring a coach, using tracking tools, setting up realistic expectations and achievable goals, having a plan, etc.

But when you are doing all of the right things and discomfort still comes your way, learn how to sit with it then move on back to your regularly scheduled program.

Using discomfort to your advantage

I hope my study abroad story and stubbed toe analogy are making some sense at this point.

Basically, discomfort can be used to your advantage. Because it is a natural feeling, it often gives us a natural reaction to move away from discomfort as quickly as possible.

But if you can take the time to sit with your discomfort and learn from it, you can better plan on how to prevent it from happening again.

Here is another example:

I was on a reverse diet to heal my relationship with food and get into a normal/healthy eating pattern. (you can read more about it here)

I hired my coach Sarah and eagerly started my journey of lifting in the gym, gradually eating more nutritious foods, prioritizing rest, and overall putting my body’s needs first.

Things went smoothly for a long time with minor hiccups. But then at the peak of my reverse diet where I was up to nearly 3000 calories a day, I had a bit of an upset.

I tried on clothes I hadn’t worn in a year and they did not fit. My arms and thighs had both grown an inch in that timespan and I could not fit into many of the old clothes I loved.

After having a little meltdown and feeling disappointed that I couldn’t wear the clothes I wanted on an upcoming work trip, I took Sarah’s advice to recognize how I felt at that moment and allow it to pass.

It didn’t change the fact that I couldn’t wear those clothes. But it grounded me and helped me to recognize that not fitting into those clothes was actually a good thing.

When I was able to wear them I was skinny, not eating enough food, not strong, and in a very unhappy place in my life. Now, I am muscular, eating nourishing foods, very strong, and in a much happier place.

My past self would have reacted and punished myself with a round of starvation-style diets and overly obsessive cardio sessions.

Now I sit in my discomfort and recognize why I feel that way. It often helps me to move on and prevent that feeling from happening again.

Rewiring your mindset

So here is what you need to know to help you rewire your mindset to not only sit with discomfort when you don’t have the results you want.

  1. Stop and Recognize how you feel in the moment. Before you jump to conclusions, understand how you are truly feeling.
  2. Ask Yourself Why you are feeling that way. Knowing the why can help analyze your feelings in a less emotional way.
  3. Remind Yourself that it is okay to feel that way and that feelings pass.
  4. What’s The Worst Thing That Can Happen? Knowing that you will still wake up the next day, the earth will still turn, and people will still love you puts into perspective that your feeling may not be as big of a deal as it feels in the moment.
  5. Move On by accepting your feeling and you will make a plan to prevent this type of discomfort when you are in a calmer state.

By taking these steps at the moment, they can help recenter you to a more neutral mindset. It isn’t always easy, but the more you practice this technique, the more you will find it easier to work through discomfort.

It may also help lessen discomfort over time because you know that it is a normal part of life and you can work through it.

My other tip is to try not to react in the moment. Much easier said than done.

If you don’t like something, let’s say a number on the scale or the way a piece of clothing fits, work through the exercise above and come back to it when you have more clarity.

From there you can make a more informed and methodical action plan on what you need to do, or maybe not do, to achieve your goals and prevent this type of discomfort from happening again.

Sitting With Discomfort is Powerful

In our society, we have become more accustomed to instant results. That has created unrealistic expectations causing all sorts of discomfort for people. It is not uncommon to fall into these traps and I have many times myself.

However, I can confidently say that with every bit of discomfort, I have always come out on the other side.

It is a powerful thing to take an uncomfortable facet of your life and turn it into a net positive one. It is not easy and can take a lot of practice. However, with time and effort, you can overcome your obstacles and thrive.

I hope you have found this post helpful in encouraging you through your discomfort while on your journey. If you have a thought or question about this topic, please share it in the comments section below!

Sitting With Discomfort: How to Embrace Discomfort and Thrive
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About

Hi I’m Meredith! I’m here to share my journey and help individuals who are looking to improve their health and encourage them through the middle. It is easy to be discouraged when you have an end goal. But there is no real end throughout our lives. We are always somewhere in the middle, embrace it!